


captain's log #1350

by fucken_moron



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Gen, dude idk why i wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23906950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fucken_moron/pseuds/fucken_moron
Summary: nazi's quarantine diary
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	captain's log #1350

**Author's Note:**

> heads up i like pasted half a filthy frank song in this so if ur not into that sorry
> 
> like it's kinda vulgar? but uh yeah just a warning i guess
> 
> also there's colored text please look at it because the fic doesn't make much sense without it

Captain’s Log #1350

Day 29 [04:13 a.m.]

Today, Ancap went out to buy groceries wearing his $500 Louis Vuitton face mask.

I called him an Italian. 

He called me a cuck.

I asked him why he didn’t make his personal grocer do it. Apparently he had quit and joined a union. When Commie heard that, he started foaming at the mouth in joy or whatever, figuratively. Anprim is the only person I’ve ever seen actually foaming at the mouth. The man is rabid. He has rabies. 

I found out Louis Vuitton is actually French. That only makes it worse.

I feel like I’m living in a crackhouse because Ancom is actually doing crack. 

Ancap told me his child wives have also started unionizing so he asked me for the, “ **SLOPPY TOPPY**.”

I told him that I was going to shove my foot up his ass. He said, “Hot,” and left. I’m going to beat him to death.

The lowlife degenerate showed me another one of ~~his~~ their horrible movies. It’s title is burned into my mind, Joshua and the Promised Land. I could feel my soul leave my body. I can’t stand this weird furry shit. It’s rotting my brain. These shitty, crudely animated, CGI Lovecraftian horrors make my blood boil.

But, I won’t have to deal with them anymore. 

I had a heated gamer moment and shot the TV during a _very fucking intense_ game of CoD. Ancap almost killed me right then and there for destroying his property.

I told him that I fucked his mom and he went away, crying, like a whiny little pissboy. dude that didn’t happen.

I’m getting tired of all these commercials about how, “these are confusing times,” and gay shit like that. The virus doesn’t scare me. It will pu ~~rge the world of the weak and~~ i’ll piss my little fascist pants. don’t you have ~~assma aztma aahataasta~~ the no breathy thing?? whatever

Anyway, I have business to attend to.

**_______**

Captain’s (???) Log #1

Day 1 [04:30 a.m.]

I saw Nazi’s little diary and I decided to make my own.

Nevermind. This is stupid.

Who made him the captain?

**_______**

tumblr or whatever kids these days use? the twitter maybe idk i just wanna grill

i found nazi’s diary

pretty cursed ngl 

i fixed some of it but its pretty funny 

im gonna print out the best parts

**_______**

Ancap’s Sexy Sexy Free Market Private Property ~~diary~~ Log

BITCHES CAN'T HANDLE MY SHIT

THEY GET REALLY EXCITED WHEN THEY SEE MY DICK 

MY DICK PAYS RENT, AND MY DICK PAYS QUICK 

SO I GOT A LITTLE STORY THAT'LL RATTLE YOUR TITS 

WHY WASN'T THE CHICKEN ABLE TO CROSS THE ROAD? 

BECAUSE IT WAS DISABLED 

THE DOCTORS SAY I HAVE A DISEASE 

BUT I FIND THAT REALLY FUCKING HARD TO BELIEVE 

I HANG DOGS ON TREES SO I CAN RAISE THE ROOF 

I TURNED AROUND WAY TOO FAST AND KNOCKED THINGS OFF THE SHELF WITH MY DICK 

NOW IT'S REALLY RED AND BLUE LIKE LILO AND STITCH 

NOW IT'S REALLY STARTING TO ITCH 

THIS BEAT DROPS LIKE MY BALLS AT THE AGE OF TWELVE 

MY NIPPLE SHRIVELS UP LIKE A DEHYDRATED ELF 

I SHOT AN OLD MAN IN THE KNEECAPS 

I SHOT AN OLD MAN IN THE KNEECAPS 

THEY CALL ME MOOSE KNUCKLES 

BECAUSE WHEN I SIT DOWN, YOU CAN SEE MY BALLS STICK OUT LIKE MOOSE KNUCKLES 

I GET DISEASES FROM THE GREAT SEX 

I'M COUGHING UP BLOOD SO I'M GONNA PASS THE MIC

**_______**

Captain’s Log #1351

Day 29 [04:20 a.m.]

When I see that degenerate, I’m going to murder it. ANCOM’S ORGANS WILL BE SOLD ON OUR FRONT LAWN IN A YARD SALE LIKE THE DUSTY TRASH THAT THEY ARE. WHEN I FIND THEM I’M GOING TO BEAT THEIR ASS INTO THE NEXT CENTURY WHERE I’LL BEAT THEIR FUCKING ASS AGAIN. IT WILL BE AN ENDLESS LOOP OF ASS BEATING BY ME UNTIL THE END OF TIME AND THEN I WILL KEEP BEATING THEIR ASS BECAUSE I WILL NEVER DIE.

My logs have been DEFACED. I’M FUCKING SEETHING. 

**_______**

gaybowser.com maybe

oh god oh fuck he’s coming

**_______**

I do not like calling myself “captain.”

Anarkiddie’s funeral is next week.

**_______**

Ancap’s Long Stupid Title

I’m selling all of Ancom’s shit and their organs at the yard sale next week. I gotta stimulate the economy. Line go up. B)

**_______**

grindr probably

i’m still alive ;)

**_______**

Captain’s Log #1352

Day 29 [04:48 a.m.]

I fucking hate this house.

**Author's Note:**

> dude it's almost 4 am   
> i don't understand HTML   
> this was my first time doing colored text  
> i'll never do it again i hate that shit  
> you might be wondering why i would spend TWO HOURS figuring out how to color text, editing this mess, realizing that i messed up the color names, and fixing that  
> the answer is caffeine and boredom
> 
> please kill me


End file.
